Rocket Highway

Greetings, readers! I’ve been out of the blogging game lately because I previously only ever posted from work, but then they started cracking down and filtering a bunch of shit, plus the work volume increased. I never really posted from home because, hey, if you sat around staring at a screen for 8 hours a day, you don’t really want to add another hour on to the pile. But, I want to post again. I come in to work earlier than before because nobody else is here and I can leave while the sun is still shining brightly which makes everything much less depressing, honestly. So, here’s something I’ve been thinking about lately.

The New England Patriots are smarter than everyone else
Cyrus is NOT going to like this, but it’s really the only conclusion I can draw. Look, I hate the Patriots as much as any other decent person, but I have to call it like I see it. Allow me to explain. If you’ve been paying attention to the awesome flurry of activity after the owners decided to end the lockout, you’ve noted that every team is trying to condense what is usually 5 months of free agency and trading activity into basically a week. It’s awesome because it’s the closest the boring ass NFL will come to MLB in terms of free agency and trades.

The Patriots have alarmed the stodgy middle aged men of the NFL media and fanbase by trading for Albert Haynesworth and Chad Ochocinco/Johnson. These guys are PROVEN PRIMA DONNA PROBLEM BOYS!!!!!!! they whine! They KILL TEAM LOCKER ROOM BUTT SLAP FESTIVALS!!!!! they bleat! They make it a LOT HARDER TO TURN THE MEDIA NARRATIVE INTO THE MOVIE MAJOR LEAGUE WHICH HAS BEEN THE OBVIOUS GOAL OF SPORTS MEDIA EVER SINCE IT CAME OUT!!!!! Haynesworth and Ochocinco played for shitty franchises that treated them like shit. The NFL media expects them to “man up” and “bend over and get fucked” by their owners because they’re their bosses, like every other American citizen does every goddamn day. I understand how the rage over that can boil over, I really do, but I’m glad when people can leverage their skillset against getting fucked like all of us other victims of American capitalism, not jealous. Anyway, the owner-worshiping media gave them a raw deal, even if they were not completely blameless in their situations. Haynesworth definitely is kind of a shithead. But he’s a talented one who became undervalued because of the fact that he is a shithead.

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