Rocket Highway

As I said in a post last week, I got a smartphone. It’s been a fun little toy, and one of its more hilarious features has been its dubious capability to record voice and render it into a text message. It often fails at anything more complex than “Help I’m in my Suburban Pakistani manse and the NAVY Seals are in here,” (actually, it would screw that up)so Molly and I thought it would be fun to read a paragraph from a Serious Book.

The Serious Book chosen was The Looming Tower by Lawrence Wright, which I also mentioned in a previous post. If you don’t remember, it’s basically an account of Bin Laden and Al Zawahiri’s arduous journeys from “brave freedom fighters” in Afghanistan to terrorist masterminds of Al Qaeda. So, without further ado, here is the original quotation from the book.

In 1986, Bin Laden brought his wives and children to Peshawar, where they joined the small but growing community of arabs responding to Sheikh Abdullah Azzam’s fatwa. it was clear by then that the Afghans were winning the war. admitting that Afghanistan was “a bleeding wound,” Mikhail Gorbachev, the general secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, offered a timetable for the complete withdrawal of Soviet troops. that was also the year that the American-made Stinger, the hand-fired missile that proved so deadly for Russian aircraft, was introduced, decidedly tipping the balance in favor of the Mujahideen.

Here’s what voice-to-text turned it into!

In 1986 been lot in brought his wives and children to pass to war for the joined the small but growing community of parents responding to sheikh’s up the laws on xfactor. It was clear by the end of the Afghan for winning the war admitting the Afghanistan was a tweeting world me Kyle Korver Charles the general secretary of the coming this party of the Soviet union offer the time table for the complete withdrawal Soviet rooms that was also the year that the American made stinger the and fart missile the proves so deadly for russian aircraft was and reduce the size with tipping the balance in favor of the mood job. Talk to you loads?

Could Muslin Terror Mosks produce this highlight of Western Culture? No, I think not. America.

Trey is hustling FOR REAL AND FOR KEEPS. Check out this sweet bike. I can just see Trey cruising around on it while dramatically flipping his sunglasses off and back on again. He is repping his blog hard now. How can we compete?

INTERCEPTOR

Wow, Trey’s really pushing his SpackleCube page hard these days. I should have expected it from a hustler such as himself.

Pink Rims are cool, presumably

Pink stickers on the back too. Wow.

There’s a cool new sport all the kids are playing, and it’s called CHAOS PARKING! ANARCHY FOREVER!!! Witness one of my coworker’s attempts. Whoa! 666 POINTS!!!! SATAN SMILES UPON THIS VEHICULAR SOUL TRANSACTION!!!

*slide whistle*